When We Becomes I
by Canon Archives
Summary: A moment that takes place during the mourning period at Hogwarts, three days after the war ended. George has to learn how to be strong on his own, now that Fred is gone. This is a oneshot about mental strength and pushing on, despite the pain. Please read.


**Author Tip: If you are looking to write a George angst oneshot, it is best to do it in the middle of the night when you are way overtired and really should be asleep but for some inexplicable reason you can't fall asleep. I'm telling you, this is the third one I've written that way.**

 **Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the queen, JK Rowling.**

 **I'm really proud of this one. I hope it hits the spot!**

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The next three days were torturous.

George sat at the end of the Gryffindor table with Charlie, Bill, Fleur, Percy, Ginny, and Harry, as his untouched breakfast slowly got colder on his plate. His Mum and Dad were already helping to repair Hogwarts before the family left. Both of them had been doing their best to stay busy every second for the past three days.

By May 5th, Hogwarts had become nearly vacant and eerily quiet. George's tears had long since dried and he had become simply numb, unable to feel anything.

Sounds were muffled, as if everything was far away. Periodically someone would look at him with those sympathetic eyes, filled with remorse and a hint of longing. He would meet their gazes with an empty stare and silently wished he could disappear forever. At one point he wondered, if he walked into someone, would he move straight through them? He certainly felt like a ghost, but his persistently beating heart and steady breaths constantly reminded him that he was, in fact, still alive.

 _So Freddie_ , he said in his mind, _what do we do now?_

 _Everyone looks too unhappy, George,_ he heard his twin answer. _We should crack a joke to lighten the mood._

 _That would be the natural thing to do, Fred._

George instinctively turned his head to his right and opened his mouth. A pain in his chest throbbed. He went back to staring ahead emotionlessly.

Just then Ron entered the Great Hall, his hand gripped tightly to Hermione's. They sat down silently across the table and she leaned into him, mirroring the exact position that Harry and Ginny were in right next to them. Bill and Fleur were standing at the head of the table, wrapped in each other's arms. To George's left, Charlie had his arm around Percy's shoulder, their heads hanging in grief.

 _Everyone's got somebody, Fred_ , George continued his silent conversation. _Even Ronnikins finally won the heart of his bushy-haired princess._

 _Looks like I won that bet, Georgie,_ Fred answered. _You owe me._

 _Yes, but once we find out who made the first move, I believe you will be owing me._

 _We'll have to see about that. For right now, I think this is a perfect opportunity to give our little brother a hard time, don't you think?_

 _I most certainly do, Fred._

George turned to his right once more ready to crack a smile, and froze up, those knives jabbing into his chest again.

He went back to staring blankly ahead at nothing in particular.

Ginny suddenly erupted into a fresh stream of silent tears, sniffling mournfully at the other end of the table. Charlie looked pained by the sound.

 _We have to do something, Freddie,_ George said in his head.

 _I'm not there, George,_ Fred reminded him. _You'll have to do it on your own._

 _But I can't,_ George argued.

 _Yes you can._

 _No I can't! Not without you._

 _You can._

 _How would you know? This whole conversation is imaginary!_

That thought was answered with silence. The longer the eerie ring continued the more uneasy George felt.

 _Fred?_ He asked, searching for a response, imaginary or not.

The silence continued. The Great Hall echoed with the quiet sniffles and footsteps of mourners. George felt himself start to panic. He caught a shuddering breath loudly enough that Ron, Ginny, and Charlie all turned to look at him worriedly.

George closed his eyes. _Please don't leave me,_ he thought desperately. _I can't do this without you._

 _You have to,_ Fred finally answered. _They need you to._

George relaxed a little now that his imaginary conversation was still going two ways. He let out a breath.

 _What can we do?_ He asked. _We used up everything we brought with us during the battle._

 _There must be something still at Hogwarts that we left behind._

George racked his brains, thinking about some of their older inventions from fifth and sixth year. He recalled the period when they were playing with muggle magic tricks, looking for inspiration for products. Then suddenly he remembered an old deck of cards that they had stored under the floorboards in the Gryffindor dorms. They had hoped someone might find the card game, but George suspected that it might still be there.

It would be perfect to lighten the mood.

Suddenly motivated by his new plan, George stood up so abruptly from the table that the whole family looked at him in surprise. He did not make eye contact with anyone, but moved purposefully out of the Great Hall.

* * *

After searching underneath the floorboards of the Gryffidor tower for about ten minutes, George finally found the dusty old card deck they had made five years ago. He returned to the Great Hall with the deck and stopped in front of the entrance. He took two slow, deep breaths.

 _We can do this,_ he told himself.

 _You can do this,_ Fred corrected him.

George grimaced. _I,_ he repeated bitterly. The pain in his gut throbbed. Before he could think too much about it, he walked into the big, silent, depressing room and went straight to the table where his family was. He had to fix this. He had to.

 _I can do this._

He sat down determinedly and immediately fanned the cards out into a semi-circle in the middle of the table. In this environment, it didn't take much to get everyone's complete and very surprised attention.

"Ginny," George said. "Pick a card, any card. But don't look at it," he instructed. His voice seemed abnormally loud, but he ignored the echo, watching his sister expectantly.

Ginny, along with the others at the table, seemed mildly confused, but seeing no reason not to, she reached out her hand and took a card from the deck.

"Okay," George continued. "Now place the card on your forehead so that we can all see the card, but you can't."

Ginny looked like she might want to argue, but reluctantly did as she was told. The back of the card stuck to her forehead, and everyone at the table could see that her card had a picture of a royal crown.

"So now, everyone is going to try to get you to guess the thing on the card without saying what it is," George explained. "Gin, keep guessing until you get it right."

"Will you tell me if I get it right?"

George gave her a hint of a smile. "You'll know when you get it right."

Charlie sat up in his seat. "Okay, it is something that kings and queens wear,"

"Robes," Ginny guessed. "Or a crown!"

As soon as she said the word, the card on her forehead disappeared and in its place a big balloon crown suddenly appeared on her head.

"Cool!" Harry exclaimed, while the others laughed.

"Harry would you like to go next?" George asked.

Harry picked a card from the deck and placed it on his forehead.

"Okay yours is a body part," Hermione began.

"Oh no," Harry moaned.

"Not a human body part though," Ginny added.

"Oh no!" Harry groaned louder.

"So the creatures that work at Gringotts..." Bill prompted.

"Goblins," Harry answered.

"And then the body part in the center of your face," Bill added.

"The thing you smell with!" Hermione clued.

"Goblin's nose?" Harry cringed, and sure enough his nose grew to be large, pointy, and green.

There were a combination of groans and laughs as the room's mood lightened. The game continued, and laughter became easier and louder after each person's turn. Pretty soon Ron had grown a white beard as long as Merlin's (literally) and he was croaking like a frog. Hermione had on giant dorky glasses and her hair had turned into a lion's mane, and Charlie's eyes were bugging out of his head like a fly. Harry had managed to grow feathers along with his unattractive goblin nose, and Ginny had vampire fangs. Everyone looked ridiculous, and the Great Hall was starting to feel lively again.

As Bill grew a curly French moustache after guessing his card, a couple of younger students who looked to be maybe 3rd or 4th years came up to George.

"Is it okay if we join the game?" The girl asked.

George smiled as he shuffled the deck of cards. "Are you looking to have some fun?" He asked them.

"Yeah!" The boy exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Alright!" George exclaimed. "That's what we like to hear, right Freddie?"

And just like that the room chilled ten degrees. George realized his mistake as soon as the words came out of his mouth and he winced. The laughter was gone.

George swallowed the lump in his throat. "Sorry," he murmured, the room returning to hushed whispers. But he had to bring back the laughter. That's why he had started this in the first place.

He took a shaky breath and braved a look at everyone watching him. "Uh... Fred says, 'That's right, George. But I think that Ron's girlfriend isn't too crazy about his new bearded look.'"

And like magic, the smiles returned. "Hey!" Ron complained, letting out a frog croak. "She's the one shedding cat hair," he argued.

"My hair always looks like a mane," Hermione replied with a grin, running her fingers through the thick fur. "It doesn't even feel that different from normal."

Everyone laughed again and George silently thanked Merlin for that save. He fanned out the cards with his hands and held out the deck to the younger girl. "Pick a card, any card," he told her, and the game continued.

When the game finally ended an hour later, they had successfully brought together three other mourning families and had gotten many of the players laughing. Eventually, though, people were called away as families began to go home, and others were put to work on repairs. Many people thanked George for the entertainment before leaving and told him how much fun they had. He waved his wand to remove the spells, and the cards flew back into a neat pile on the table in front of him.

Finally it was just George and Charlie left at the table. George leaned back, and picked up the deck of cards. He let out a tired sigh.

"This was great George," Charlie told him earnestly. "It was a relief to see everyone smiling, even for a little while."

George nodded, but his frown had inevitably returned. He didn't trust himself to speak.

Charlie placed his hand on top of George's and he met his eyes. "We will get through this, one way or another," he promised.

George's expression stayed sullen and skeptical. "Will we ever _really_ though?"

Charlie's face fell. His eyes were glassy. "I don't know," he answered in a whisper.

"I won't," George murmured, his frown deepening. "I can make it seem like I have, but I won't."

Charlie nodded, his eyes wet. He sniffled before getting up from the table. "Mum is going to be gathering us up soon to head home," he said. "Are you okay here?"

George looked down and nodded again, moving the card deck around in his hands. "Yeah," his voice cracked.

Once Charlie had left the Great Hall, George closed his eyes and put his head in his hands for a moment. The silence was simply deafening. He didn't think he'd ever get used to it.

"Well," he said aloud, looking blankly into the empty room. "We did it Freddie."

 _You did it, George._

 _Right_ , George remembered with a sigh, closing his eyes again. _I. I did it._

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 **Thanks for reading! I hope it hurt :) Please review with reactions!**


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